Star Trek and Keeping It Classy
After a long and agonizing weekend of NOT seeing Star Trek, I finally went to see it last night at the IMAX theatre. I don’t care to provide a full-length review of the movie or anything of the sort, but I will say that I enjoyed it and that it was a very comic book-esque twist for the Star Trek continuum. IMAX was large, loud, and exciting as per usual. The cast of the movie was pretty. Sexy iconic Star Trek imagery ejaculated forth from a deflector shield-shaped cornucopia of futuristic gadgetry. I had a box of Jelly Belly’s. All was well.
My only disappointment was that there weren’t any quality nerds in the crowd. I KNEW that this would be the case, since real geeks would have gone to the Cinerama on opening night and additionally SCOFFED at the idea of seeing it at the IMAX theatre, citing some point about how Star Trek isn’t really an IMAX movie.
Just for future reference, ST was not shot in IMAX, and therefore is not a true imax film. imax is 65mm, 15-perf film, with an aspect ratio of 1:1.37 and a MASSIVE amount of image area, approximately 4x the size of VistaVision (VV is also the same format 35mm still cameras shoot, imagine a negative almost four times the surface area of one that was shot in your still camera.)
Star Trek was shot in cinemascope, an anamorphic format that squeezes the image on the film, but projects it through lenses that stretch it back out horizontally to its 1:2.35 aspect ratio. C-scope is run through a normal movie camera vertically, (90 degrees to a still camera) and exposes a frame taking up four perfs of film – about half the film area of a 35mm still camera. Credit: CrunchGear for the explanation.
While I expected the IMAX to be mostly free of hardcore Trekkies and Trekkers, my disappointment was still tangible. You know, like the lazy hope of being pleasantly surprised instead of putting forth the effort of just obtaining the pleasant without the surprise? Yeah, that.
There was ONE guy who dressed up in a Next Gen red shirt. I’ll give credit where credit is due, because really, not only did he go out in public wearing a Star Trek uniform, but those uniforms are REALLY unflattering. Also: I cannot validate the quality of his nerd. He did not reek of living with his parents nor of never having seen a woman naked (IRL, obv). And speaking of both of these concepts: I spent a good five minutes last night thinking that it might be fun to actually get some guys together to play D&D or some other game involving dice (of the greater than six-sided variety). This morning I realize that while some people become aggressive jerks, hopeful lotharios, or tactless trainwrecks after they’d been drinking or otherwise under the influence, *I* seem to think that playing D&D with a bunch of dudes in some guy’s musty basement is a good idea. Just say no, folks (to D&D).
I made the ’shop below. I think that if you take Me and add a tiny bit more eccentricity plus some wealth, it would equal this toilet in real life. In my bathroom. With me sitting on it. For hours at a time.
I’d keep it classy tho’ and probably install a built-in warming wet wipe dispenser. Because I am not a savage, after all.
